BREAKING: George Soros Paid $60 million To Keep Obama’s Darkest Secret Safe

A retired special forces operator who goes only by “Chainsaw” has something that no other human being on earth has.: Pictures of himself with Osama Bin Laden, alive, right before he put a bullet in his forehead and dumped him in Sebago Lake in central Maine.

Chainsaw was one of a handful of people in the world who were in on the secret that Osama Bin Laden used a body double the night of the raid on the compound in Pakistan. The double was so convincing that nobody knew until a low-level analyst saw a single mark on the man’s neck that eventually led to the truth.

By then it was too late. The body was set to go overboard in under 3 minutes and the American people were anxiously awaiting news. Obama had no choice but to bring Chainsaw in and pay whatever it took to make sure Bin Laden never saw the light of day.

The next call was to George Soros, who in the end spent just over $60 million funding this operation so secret that Biden is probably finding out by reading this. Chainsaw is currently sitting pretty in a safehouse owned by one of the major networds and will be going public with the truth.

Looks like Georgie should have paid some bonus hush cash for late on down the line.

Chainsaw had the Bin Laden situation solved in under a week, intercepting him just as he was recording a message telling the world he was alive:

“I shaved him and beat the crap out of him until his jaw had to be wired shut so he couldn’t talk. I bought a fishing boat with Canada registrations and landed in Nova Scotia. From there we walked across the border and hitched a ride to Bangor. I had everything set from there.

We got in my truck, drove to Sebago, got on my boat, booted on out to the middle just after sundown on a cold, overcast day. I took a selfie and then killed that sumbitch right there before God on American soil for what he done.

Chainsaw’s story goes public this weekend.

About Flagg Eagleton 157 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.