BREAKING: Supreme Court Reverses Major Ruling, Thousands Of Liberals Begin Crying Simultaneously

The Supreme Court took an early-morning Saturday session to announce that after judicial review, the court is ruling 5-4 in favor of the Defense of Marriage Act, meaning all those gay weddings that took place after their leader Barack made sin legal in America are now null and void.

Supporters of traditional marriage were out in force this morning carrying “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” signs and silhouettes of a man and a woman on the altar together. Finally, marriage can be about a promise to form traditional families again where Dad goes to work and Mom raises kids, not Dads go to work while the kids are shoved off to Uncle Joey where they sit with cans of soda and potato chips watching him try to jazzercize with Richard Simmons.

The White House Office of Information and Propaganda released a statement from Director Jeff Derpinger saying that the gays don’t have to worry, they’ll be given extensions to refile their taxes as single and to find their own health insurance. President Trump wants all people to be treated equal. That doesn’t special exceptions for people who live that lifestyle.

I shouldn’t have to pay for their sick choices with my taxes!

America is finally back on track to greatness and boy does it feel good.

About Flagg Eagleton 142 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

1 Comment

  1. If he wasn’t strong enough to do his job….one of the most important in America…..he should have been strong enough to resign.

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