Kim Jong Un Assassination: New Dictator Vows Revenge Against Trump

Kim Jong Un was killed by a sniper more than a mile away overnight in an act North Korea is calling “Western aggression that must be met with force.” North Korea’s new “president,” Kim Li Suk, demanded that Donald Trump surrenders to North Korea and answer for his crimes.

Jong Un’s younger brother, Li Suk is expected to be just as irrational and inspired by hate and power as his brother was. The advantage to having the younger sibling in charge is that the fate of North Korea now rests in the hands of an 11-year-old boy who will be easier to manipulate.

For now, the US, the mainstream media and even international publications have been relatively quiet, waiting for North Korea to make its next move; or rather — its next mistake.

Trump hasn’t released a statement yet but our source inside the White House says the West Wing was bustling with activity around 3AM, about 30 minutes before Kim was killed half a world away. There has apparently been quite a bit of celebrating both at State and Defense over the news.

Whether Trump ordered the hit or not, the fact is that the world is a safer place. If only we could end all war that way. A bullet to the head of a lunatic and Bob’s your uncle.

About Flagg Eagleton 142 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.