Sean Hannity Dies Peacefully With Loved Ones By His Side After Bizarre Bicycle Injury

They weren’t kidding. Sean Hannity didn’t make it.                                                                                                         .

Sean Hannity succumbed to his injuries with his wife and mother by his side, according to nurse Janet Higgins of New York Mercy. With less than two hours to go before his son Martin’s birthday, our beloved radio and television host and proponent for truth and justice closed his eyes, let go of Maria’s hand, and went home to be with Jesus.

Higgins said the scene was surreal and somber:

“Sean and his family were more in shock than anything else. Such a minor injury. They found the bleed. Now they can’t save him from the toxicity of the injury. It’s very bizarre. He’s not really even in a lot of pain.”

She said Hannity would have developed a fever that would kill him almost hemorrhagically once it began. His organs would liquefy and his brain would have essentially boiled in his own head, which might sound painful but wouldn’t have hurt hardly at all.

The major networks are holding back on the news until the last few members of Hannity’s family can be notified. We have nowhere near that much class. Hannity will be released to the family mortician after he’s cleared autopsy.

Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by the senseless death of a legend.

About Flagg Eagleton 157 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.